Dirk is not a plantsim. Neither is he an alien. As a matter of fact, he’d be kinda offended if you called him either.
A few years ago, a scientist was working hard away at his new wonder-serum, designed to bestow a fine visage onto whoever may consume it. The name of this game changing chemical? Handsomium-X. The scientist had originally planned to use it on himself to charm the woman of his dreams, but unfortunately for him he was more than a little careless. While carrying his entire load of Handsomium-X across his laboratory, he tripped on a stray wire and spilt the entirety of the serum. Most of it landed on a long forgotten pizza laying mouldy on the floor. The poor scientist was devastated, but little did he know what his accident would become.
You see, mouldy pizza isn’t particularly handsome. There’s certainly room for improvement, and improvement is just what the spilt serum did. Soon, the mouldy pizza was evolving, sprouting arms and legs. Eventually, an entire body emerged from the heart of the mould, gaining sentience and a touch of vanity as it rose. Well-sculpted cheekbones, glittering green eyes and a full mop of curly hair mixed with a hefty dose of mouldy green, Dirk had been accidentally born from the least likely of places.
He’s the world’s first (self-proclaimed) Mouldsim, and hell be damned if you forget it.